Note: This article has been published with a date in the past.
Attraction, woo-ing, googly eyes… love is fascinating. In our 4 years of courtship, Rachana, and, I have been through ups-and-downs, yays-and-nays. On May 7, 2014, we put it all behind us, as we got married.
These four years have been a wild ride emotionally. I am writing this, to express the emotions leading up to this point.
The question of emotion
Both Rachana, and, I are Indian; brought up in Mumbai (a major metropolitan city), where we pride ourselves in our secularity, and, accepting people from all cultures. Secular, but, not completely. We haven’t severed our bonds to certain orthodox ideas. A (dare I say, still prevalent at this time?) cultural stigma of a Hindu-Muslim marriage being one of those.
Four years of an emotional struggle between following my heart, and, following the beaten path. This wasn’t just me. Rachana, had a hard time grappling the reality we live in as well. Every relationship has highs-and-lows. For us, every low always tagged along with the question of “Is this the right decision?”. We weren’t ever able to respond with a clear NO. Something, that in hindsight, I think was a clear indication of where we were headed. And, every high in the relationship, would erase the existence of the question altogether.
As we would soon come to know, though, is that the questions would never stop, but, it would be others asking them, instead of us.
Letting the family in on the secret
Sometime in year 3, I let my family know that we were courting, and, that this was the girl that I was absolutely sure I wanted to marry. Rachana, did the same, shortly after. We had just broken emotional dams on both sides. Oh the agony of watching parents going through those emotions. It made us feel like we had committed some heinous crime. One which could neither be forgotten, nor, forgiven.
After that, we both had our fair share of “interviews” (Rachana did face that more than I had to). The outcome for all of these was always “positive”. I say that with a caveat. You know, when you don’t have anything negative to say about a person, but, you still want to anyway, you will start being nit-picky about random stuff; stuff the person had no choice over having or doing. That to me, was a positive sign. It showed me, nobody really had a good reason to say no to this relationship.
Family, that word brings me so much comfort. They are pillars of support when nobody will. I wanted Rachana to be included as part of the family, and, the family did not disappoint. As the initial shock subsided, both of us were included with open arms on both sides. A battle of emotions had been won.
This journey cannot be accurately described without talking about our friends. Friends, that are as much family as are the blood-ties themselves. Rachana, and, I are both so grateful to all our friends who supported us, as we went through this phase. We are both indebted to the help and support that you’ll have shown us in this phase.
My significant other
Rachana, I write this, knowing I have met someone who I can truly cherish the rest of my life. You have made my every struggle worth it. Thanks for holding my hand, and, always being there!
Love transcends all!
– fin –